Image credit: Sister72 via Flickr, Creative Commons License 2.0 [text/box added]
Sometimes I wonder if we over-complicate the Valentine’s Day gift giving occasion. Flowers, chocolate, or jewelry always seem like the obvious gifts for women. And I’m sure some women love getting these gifts.
In fact, you may have figured out what the perfect Valentine’s Day gift is for your loved ones. You may never have trouble selecting the right gift for this holiday every year when it rolls around. This post is probably not for you.
There are those of us who have people in our lives for whom we really struggle when gift-giving times come. I’ve been there. And sometimes I’ve thought I had a great gift for someone, only to end up disappointed that the gift didn’t “go over” like I thought it would.
Love Languages
Did you know that people speak and hear in different “languages of love”? You may have heard of or even read the book by Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages.
It’s written for married couples but there is also a version for children: 
And there is even a version geared towards men: 
The premise of the book is basically that because people are created so differently and uniquely, with different personalities, qualities, interests … and even ways that we give and receive love, the way we are trying to show someone we love them may not be the way they will “hear” or feel love from our attempts. It has been a while since I read it, but I’ve been reminded lately of the importance of applying it in marriage and in parenting.
My daughter, I’m coming to realize, I believe has the love language of physical touch. As a baby, she wasn’t really happy unless I was holding her. I had thought that maybe she didn’t like being a baby very much. She wasn’t into any baby toys really. She was pretty much one of those babies that you just could not put down.
Can I just confess that it was one of the most challenging times of my life? I could not leave her anywhere for more than about ten or 15 minutes, maximum. She wanted to be with me, a part of whatever I was doing or watching what was going on from my arms. She wouldn’t nap as a baby, really, unless I napped with her.
Just recently, I had an “aha” moment where I realized that perhaps the reason for all of that is due to her love language being physical touch. She will come up to me throughout the day and ask me to hold her. She will come up to me just to touch me. This has taken some getting used to. I’m not a “touchy feely” person. At all!
Choosing the perfect Valentine’s Day gift based on love language
So let’s assume I’m buying a gift for my daughter for Valentine’s Day, especially, since it’s when we celebrate love. Believing her love language to be physical touch and knowing how much she also enjoys sitting on my lap reading a story, a great gift for her would be a couple of books and time sitting on my lap, or next to me, side-by-side, right up against me (touch), reading these great stories together.
Do all gifts need to be bought? That could depend on the person receiving the gift, but we have a sweet book, called, A Present for Mom, in which the main character searches throughout the story for the right Mother’s Day gift.
Finally, right at the last minute, he comes up with the brilliant idea to give mom a box full of kisses. Mom could not have been happier with this gift that cost only time, a few materials to wrap up the box and amazing imagination!
It’s a great book for children, who especially may like to make gifts for people they love … and in fact, some adults enjoy giving and receiving DIY or handmade gifts.
If you have not read The Five Love Languages yet or have little to no knowledge about the love languages, you have a few more days to download an electronic version of the book and figure it out! (Clicking on any of the book images above will take you to Amazon where you can purchase an e-copy of the book.)
Here are a couple of review excerpts from Amazon customers:
Where’s the needle on *your* love tank? | This may not sound like a big deal, but considering the divorce rate is 50% (as one relationship instance), and so many seem to be unhappy with their primary relationships, the concept of love languages may very well be a significant factor in understanding self and others, and in relationship growth.
Saved my marriage | This book is absolutely incredible. Having serious marital problems, I was desperate for any kind of help. I was about to turn to counseling when I heard about this book. I decided to buy it so that my husband and I could read it together. Not expecting too much, one lazy morning I suggested to my husband that we lay in bed and begin reading this book out loud to each other. We read 120 pages that morning! We could not put it down! Both of us shed a lot of tears that morning, this book really hit home.
And here is another idea for you to help as you brainstorm. Let’s say your loved one’s love language is gift giving. This is probably the easiest of the love languages when it comes to gifts, obviously! If you truly know the person well, then you know what types of things he/she loves. It’s probably a piece of cake.
But one idea that would be a little different and perfect for this kind of person is an “Of the Month” Club. Have you seen those? Here are a few of those available from Amazon:
Shop All Of the Month Clubs here
The ultimate in personalized gift giving
There is a reason why people love personalized gifts. Since Valentine’s Day is all about love, why not determine what your loved one’s love language is, put your thinking cap on, or cruise sites like Pinterest or Etsy, and decide on a gift that would really communicate love to them in the language they understand? The ultimate personalized Valentine’s Day gift.
What about you … what’s been the most memorable Valentine’s Day gift you’ve ever received? And what was it that made it so special?
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Full disclosure policy here.
About the Author
Adopted at age 2, grew up in the Charlotte, NC area. Obtained Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from Appalachian State University. Loves being a Mom of two and taste-testing Chef John's culinary creations and sharing them with readers.
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